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I know I am petty bad about updating this thing, but really my blog its more for me than anyone else… If you choose to read it I do appreciate it, but really it is primarily a way for me to sort my thoughts out…
Since the breakup a lot has gone on, and yet not much at all… But life is starting to look up. I’ve been growing inside, which is great, I’ve seen a lot of good stuff happening around me… then again I guess there’s a lot of heart aches too.
I know the Jason is hurting and that kills me. I hate seeing a friend going through so much pain and knowing that it is my doing. but I have to be true to myself… and even Jason admits that he was trying to change me.
So Halloween went pretty well, I spent the weekend with Hengist, Mira, Thorolf, and Sabrina… It was really nice having us all together all weekend. On friday night we all went up to a Halloween party at a friend’s house in Bremerton. I ended up dressing as “Rosie the Rivitor”… Even loaned me an aluminum pipe wrench that totally made the costume… And I got to see a bunch of my friends that I haven’t seen in way too long. It was really a blessing.
Saturday we all went to another party in Seattle… And there I got to see a bunch more of my SCA friends that I haven’t seen in months or in a couple of cases a few years (along side the usual suspects of course)… This time I borrowed one of Mira’s costumes and so I was an “anarchy cheerleader.” Yet again we all got goofy and had a great time…
Strangely enough, Sunday everything was pretty tame… Mira had a belly dancing show scheduled at Karma in Puyallup, and Sabrina headed back home to Yakima. So Hengist, Mira, Thorolf and I went to the show where we saw Dana also… But the venue was putty barren so we just ate a nice indian food dinner… (lamb vindaloo – yum!) Mira want feeling too hot anyways, so it was probably good that she didn’t dance.
On monday, I woke up sicker than snot with a fever… And I have spent the whole week in bed recovering… It’s a brutal bug this year, almost everyone we saw this weekend caught some variation of it (lucky butts Sabrina and Thorolf exempt)…
I was capable of functioning about midday friday which is good because I discovered a horrible lump on Moses’s torso… so by the generous grace of Sven and Anne, we took Mo to the vet. The very want quite sure what was going on, but after he took some fluid from the limp he saw it was infected so mo got a shot of strong antibiotics which have been helping immensely…
Moses is still having thyroid troubles, so we adjusted his meds a bit, hopefully that helps with his neurological problems, but he is ever too skinny… He only weighed in at 9.1 lbs when he should be somewhere around 16 lbs…. So somehow we have to get him eating enough food to start putting on the weight. Wish him luck, he needs it.
Saturday was harvest feast… Which was okay, but Hengist and Mira didn’t go because they couldn’t eat anything on the menu (stupid gluten), and Sven didn’t go because he was a groomsman in a wedding. Feasts are so bunch more fun with them there…
After harvest feast Thorolf and I went to an after party which was pretty tame (that was preferable though) and later we went to see my friends the Hard Money Saints, and James Hunnicutt play at a bar just past the Roy Y. It was great seeing James, Jack, Mondo and Nick after so long… Kinda weird wearing my viking garb to the trail end of a rockabilly show, but all was good. Lastly we hit up Walmart to pick up some last-minute toys for tots donations then home…
I think I did way too much because I’m feeling pretty icky again (or still) but it has been great seeing all my friends I have been missing. Kills like I may have some photocopy gigs coming up possibly too to help concert my gas bill a bit better… Which is a relief… But a real job is priority…
Also congrats go to my cousin who had her baby… He is a cutie-pie although I have never met him because I have been sick… And I have a phone interview on the 12th.. So wish me luck with that… I have been out of work so long… I’m stir crazy…
I feel like I’m figuring myself out which is exactly what I need to do… Still waiting on my final “no”from the military, and if that happens I will look into counseling to help sort me out memtally a bit more… I think it could be of great value…
I’ll try to keep this a bit more updated… It’s good for me to write out my thoughts, and if you care to read my ramblings, great! If not, oh well… like I said this is mostly for me!
Recently I have spent a good amount of my time focusing on developing my life goals and dreams. Sad to say, it seems that I have greatly lapsed in this skill since my school days, so now I am starting over from scratch as an adult. So the following are some questions I have snagged from Ravi Vora. I do not know him personally, however, I did find the post I have linked to particularly helpful in stimulate my brain back into dreaming big once again. So without further ado, here goes!
Q: If you had $100 million dollars what would you do? Money is no issue. just imagine what you would do with your life if money didn’t matter.
A: I would freely give back to all of my friends who have helped me along the way so far repaying their endless generosity with interest and enjoy changing their lives for the better as they have for me in the past. I would also have my own family and raise my children up teaching them about the world by showing them through travel and historical study. I want to be able to support any and all of their talents so that they can make a name for themselves.
Q: What do you think about when you think about Nothing? I believe that when you think about nothing, you are thinking about what you love. When I lay down at night and clear my head for sleep, something always comes rushing back in. The things I love most.
A: When I clear my head an think about nothing, the things that most often cross my mind are having a fmaily and raising them. I also think about having the time and money to adequately enjoy my hobbies and passions like my Viking Age reenactment, building guitars, and my photography. Mostly my thoughts are centered around raising my family to enjoy my passions with me.
Q: What makes you happy every day? Just one thing, however big or small. Expand upon this and you will be closer to figuring out your dream.
A: Jason make me happy every day by letting me know that I am loved and cherished. he makes me feel as it his love and blind affection are completely unconditional for me. All I’ve ever really wanted is to love and be loved and he provides me with this every day.
Q: If you had 60 minutes to live what would you do? Sometimes in your last moments you make crazy decisions. These are our gut instincts and can be associated to our big dream.
A: I would gather my dearest friends and relatives and tell them all that I love them. I would hope that Jason would honor my by marrying me (before God) before I die and spend my last moments with the family that loves me wholly and completely.
Q: What is one thing about your life that you would change right now? Got it? Now change it.
A: I would fix my finances and be ready to get married… I want a family and the love that I believe I will be able to express once I get to have a family of my own.
Q: How do you define success? From having a million stamps to having a million friends on Facebook, success is a general term that each of us define for ourselves. Once you know what your definition of success is, you will be able to go for it.
A: I believe that someone is successful when they have found what is meaningful in their lives and have afforded themselves the opportunity to balance that with their spirituality and home life. This also means that one has found a functional and lawful way of achieving this in society.
Q: If you wrote your autobiography, how would you want people to remember you? If you want people to remember you a hero, then start working towards that goal.
A: I want to be remembered as someone who has overcome the many turmoils in life and loved freely, laughed, often and gave much to the world.
Q: If you could visit one place in the world, where would it be? Making a concrete choice will lead you to what you need and will start to drive you towards that place.
A: For me it is hard to choose just one place. But I guess where I would like to go most of all someday is to Disneyland with my (future) family. I want to show them the place where everyone can be a child just like my father showed me.
Q: What is one thing that interests you more than anything else? Whether it’s a hobby, and object, or a person, there’s something you’re interested in so much that it drives you. figure out why you are so interested in it and you will find your big dream.
A: The one thing that drives me is the idea of having a family, Raising them and loving them. I’m interested in it because I love and want to be loved without it ever being circumstantial.
Q: What do you hate doing? Sometimes you can find what you want to do by eliminating what you dislike doing.
A: I hate when I am forced to be false and work below my skill level. I don’t like fulfilling obligations to those who belittle me because in the end they are always going to tear me down.
Q: Who do you admire most? If they have what you want then maybe they are living your dream (or have lived it). Figure out how to live that dream too.
A: I admire those who are able to love, be loved, and love themselves freely. I admire those who have a healthy and happy family life
Q: What is one thing you would change about the world? Now go change it.
A: I’d change all the propaganda that teaches people to be one thing or another because society says so rathewr than to follow their passions and fulfill their responsibilities to God and their loved ones.
Q: What are you doing when you feel the most alive? Is it skydiving? Writing? Speaking in front of people? Whatever gives you the thrill of living is a great indication as to what you want to really do with your life.
A: I feel the most alive when I am able to forget all the many demons in my life and rather spend my time freely loving on those who deserve it and return their love to me as well.
Q: What was the happiest moment of your life? Find a way to make that moment last the rest of your life.
A: I don’t think it’s happened yet, but rather is going to happen wen I can finally say I have a family.
Q: What is one thing you would change about your past? When we look into our past, we can see what will affect our future. So you can either figure out a way to make that a positive part of your past, or learn from it and move forward. Either way, you’re finding the change to point to your dream.
A: I would have appreciated my family more when we actually got along in my youth. I wish I could have known what I would be mission before it was actually missing.
So I have started school now… I am going to Pierce College to Get a Associates in Business (DTA) so that I can transfer on to Pacific Lutheran University or University of Washington for a double-major in Business and Scandinavian Studies.
So I have been mostly focused on all of that… but I have managed to get some pictures done. I have decided to make an honest to goodness effort in getting my photography to the level that I can justify buying a Digital SLR body (probably used for now) and get going on some paying jobs as an interest seems to be building for that within the music communities that I belong to…
There has been a horrible heat wave here as well.. it’s practically appalling… sure a lot of people in the country laugh at 103 being no big deal… but here in Seattle it’s record heat. We are used to it being in the 60’s and 70’s this time of year (which I very much enjoy) not the triple digits…
So that is basically it for now. In two weeks I will be officially taken on as an apprentice for Viking age Arts and Sciences; so look forward to some fun projects coming up!!!
It’s been hot… obscenely so… The heatwave that has been going on up here is absolutely insane with numerous record temeratures in the triple digits. It’s just crazy to think that only a few months ago people were freezing to death in a record setting snow storm… (I was snowed-in for quite a while personally) and now you are hearing about deaths related to the heat…
I even questioned if I was heat casing in my Math class today… Who’d have thunk??? Worst part is that I had a Math test today as well… I hope I did well.. I didn’t study as much as I had originally intended to… you know?
So my photography seems to be getting more and more recognition in the local music industry… well the rockabilly side… which is GREAT! Marshall Scott Warner wants me to come out to his show at the Tractor Tavern tomorrow and get some shots… I told him that I have a date (more on that guy later), and he was tryiong to convince me to just move my date to the show… I told him it is up to my date (which it is) and he’s even offered to guest-list me and my date… which is nice… I find it nice that people want my services so much they are willing to get me into shows… Maybe it’ll lead to some profits enough to buy some cameras…
So anyways, about my date… I met this guy (Allen) at the Reverend Horton Heat show that I went to on the 11th of July. He was just the random guy behind my in the crowd… so we flirted during the show and he gave me his number… so we’ve had quite the crazy last few weeks. I’m pretty sure he is good for me. He’s insistent on taking things nice and slow which is good for me… I have a really bad habit of going too far too fast. On top of it he is gorgeous! I really like him and he says the same of me… It’s great!
So our tastes are similar and we are both in school which has to stay my primary concern in life as I really want to be able to get into PLU… It’s really important to me… I just hope I will be able to afford it in the end you know?
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