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Anticipating the double-edged sword…

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Well, it looks like my journey towards finishing my degree is coming up quick. This morning I registered for my final classes that I will be taking at Pierce College. Additionally, I stopped by Pacific Lutheran University and made sure that I got my ducks in a row including looking into signing up for on-campus housing. With any luck, I will get a one-bedroom loft style townhouse on campus; which would be pretty sweet… If not, I will end up in some other sort of dorm situation. 

I also managed to grab a coffee with my friend Tommy (yes, the same one I was in love with when I was in high school) and managed to have a bit of a heart to heart about all the changes that will be coming up in the next year or so. He agreed it is a sad situation, but he also believes that I am doing the right thing for myself as well. It’s a comfort to hear from him as he has always been one of the people who knows me the best on this planet. He also agreed that given my physical limitations and fixed income, that I am making the right decisions in choosing to live on campus rather than getting an apartment… That way I can focus on school and do my very best.

It’s all like a double edged sword – in one way it is exciting that I will be going to a four year university and living on campus like I had always imagined; but at the same time, this also means that Steven and I will likely be splitting up in one form or another which means that a very special and wonderful time in my life may potentially be coming to a close. Steven and I will be seeing a couples counselor to help us work through this awkward situation and see what we can figure out, but if I were to be completely pragmatic with myself, I understand that the chances of us working this out while spending about two years apart puts the odds against us. 

In other news, this quarter has been pretty rough on me. I missed a lot of school this February due to digestive issues and doctor’s instructions to remain on bed rest. Consequently my grades are not up to my usual standard, and rather, I am looking to simply pass all my classes with semi-decent grades… I am hopeful for my grades in English and Geology as my teachers have been very accommodating of my situation, however, at the same time, Forensic Anthropology, which was already difficult in the first place, has me slipping in the grade department, and ASL is pretty much the hot mess I expected it to be.

In ASL I need to come up with a true story to sign to the class for my final… I can’t seem to think of anything except my father’s suicide, which would be a difficult topic for me to cover. At the same time however, I think that it might actually be the best one as it was so formative for who I ended up becoming as an adult. The process will be emotional; but I think, with any luck, my teacher might give me a little grace for some of the participation points that I may have missed by not performing a story that Iw as supposed to sign a couple weeks ago.

As it stands now, I should be focusing on studying for a Geology test that I have in the morning rather than rambling onto a blog which is unlikely to be read, but I think documenting this time in my life will be good for me, even if it will likely be difficult at times.