In Shaunti Feldhahn’s book “For Women Only: What you need to know about the inner lives of men,” she discusses how men surveyed for her book felt about how important looks are to them and the effects of a woman maintaining herself for her man.
I personally believe that a man is completely justified in wanting his woman to make a genuine effort towards her appearance and at taking care of herself. In my opinion, if a husband truly does love his wife, then a lack of self maintenance on her part, should be relatively disconcerting . A woman’s self maintenance is not only important because of her own health and well being, but the gesture of a woman trying to look her best around her man shows she cares. This not only helps in validating their relationship, but also helps to validate him as a man.
If one were to also consider God’s stance concerning their appearance, a plethora of theological and sociological contradictions would come flooding out. It is my own opinon that God would rather have his children find comfort in their own skin than ascribe themselves to some unreachable goal that the media shows us “what women should look like” every day.
I think God wants for us to treat our bodies as temples just as the bible suggests. Therefore, to properly respect it, one must make every reasonable effort at maintaining it so that it may stay healthy and energized.
In this chapter, the author made a big deal about the topic at hand being very hard-hitting and potentially hurtful to the reader.I however, was suprizingly unmaimed by the chapter’s contents. it just makes sense to me that a man wants a woman to put up an effort at being beautiful for him. Honestly I see it all as a two-way street. Now, I don’t neccessarily want my man to be taking care of himself solely for me, but rather that I would like to see him do it for himself and be healthy – the fact that he looks better the more he works out is just a bonus.
I guess the thing that did hit home for me in the chapter was how badly I need to go to the gym. My man goes to through a lot of effort to take care of himself, and I can’t honestly say that my efforts are comparable. In truth, I need to drop the excuses tht have been holding me back and get to work. I won’t say that this chapter triggered any sort of emotional reaction from me such as the author suggested, but I can see where other more sensitive women might get upset at the idea that their man wants them to look good for them.
I personally find myself very encouraged when I read “Sometimes I’ll meet a man whose wife is overweight – but she takes care of herself. She puts some effort into appearance… if she is comfortable in her own skin and is confident you don’t notice the extra pounds. I look at that husband and think he did well.” It goes to show that men really don’t generally set impossible expectations for the woman they love but rather, they appreciate when their woman makes the effort to be beautiful for their man. I myself am relatively comfortable in my own skin. Sure, I have my own insecurities – a good number of them. While I know I am out of my ideal shape, and I have some weight to lose, I also know that my condition is not helpless and that in itself is the thing that brings me the most comfort.
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this blog do not necessarily reflect the opinions of any individual other than that of the author of this blog. Shaunti Feldhahn is in no way affiliated with this blog and is only referenced as the respected author of “For Women Only: What you need to know about the inner lives of men” and “For Women Only: Discussion Guide.” If you find these posts interesting, please show her the respect of purchasing and reading her books so that you may grow yourself.