Monthly Archives: January 2009

Twilight and other random crap

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So I figure i should probably update this again…. the economy’s hitting way too close to home… Life hasn’t been this hard to live in years… I question my ability to make it on my own without a close partner in it anymore… and even then I imagine it being hard as hell still… Been sick a lot lately and can’t afford the meds to absolve some of the symptoms (like my sinus headaches) so I feel like am am losing a long held battle… but then again I have a real crappy immune system so that should probably account for something right???

So my job is on the line… If I so much as take a sick day it is all over… I am so stressed out… but my bosses are compassionate women… if they see me really sick and suffering I cannot imagine them keeping me there unnecessarily so I guess I should not stress it too much… life is just so darn crazy and frustrating right now…

I just finished reading the Twilight series and found it to be rather good… I noticed that the books developed and evolved very much the way that life does… maiden, mother, and crone or something like that… and it was comforting to be able to disappear into another world for a while… especially with mine getting so nutty as of late. I still find it funny how people have pilgrimages to Forks… that little nothing town… the books said it like it was a miserable wet place on the Olympic Peninsula… yet somehow people want to go see this little town… I remember the girls in California all excited to go… and when I told them that it was dirt and trees they laughed at me saying that it was nothing like that…. the book said practically the same thing! silly nut-jobs… you fell in love with the vampires and whatnot… i have some bad news for you — no Vampires… it was just a wonderful tale woven within the author’s imagination…

But getting back to reading again did kind of bring something out of me that I have not considered in years… My writing… I have always wanted to be a writer of sorts… but life got in the way and I got out of practice… I am thinking that maybe I should start writing some more… get back into the swing of things and see how it goes… maybe start with a few short stories and see what happens from there…

Maybe I will post some of that stuff up here… maybe not… who knows…

As for my idiot dog… he’s adjusting to this house quite well although he does drive me batty from time to time… I cannot go anywhere without him which has put a damper on my social life… Anne suggested we put him on some people meds for OCD in doggie doses… maybe that is what the little psycho needs… but as it stands I can hardly afford to feed him and I so that may still be a ways off… oh well — I need to focus on work as it stands anyways…

idk… maybe I will get to that writing now… see what happens….

I still want it…

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SDI SSgt Mosqueda was right… I NEED it… more than most of the other things I have ever wanted… It’s my missing piece…. I keep letting stuff hold me back and I just fall deeper and deeper… Time to start training up again… and building my immune system somehow… I’m not going back to FRP for anything… I’ve already had enough of that experience…

Happy New Year…

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So New years has come again…. and of course I have not updated my blog in quite some time… it’s not that I don’t think of it; it’s just that I get distracted too easily…

Working at Jenny is going okay although I was hoping to be promoted again by now… I live in Marysville now with my neurotic dachshund named Moses… (I doubt I would have named him that… but honestly another name hasn’t crossed my mind… he seems to recognize his name any ways… but then again he an answers to ‘tard, pain-in-the-ass, and many more much more vulgar names that I really shouldn’t call a dog that was rescued from abuse…

I’m trying to train him as well… it’s gonna be long and hard… I am thinking that I will start him in obedience school when I get the chance… I can tell he wants to be a good dog… he just doesn’t know how in all situations… So long as I am around he is generally behaved…

As for resolutions and whatnot, I have a few…

First; I want to get fit again… better than last year…. I want to be able to pass a PFT by the end of the year… in that case if I go for the military again I can do it… According to my old recruiters I just need a few waivers and to be more fit to show some initiative and prevent repeat injuries. I do want to go… but I don;Ft know if I can give up my family/friends here long enough to do it… and now I have a dog to worry about too…

Along those same lines I want to start doing Yoga… SDI SSgt. Mosqueda was so passionate about it and how good it is for you that I’m gonna believe her. She taught me so much… about the world and myself… If only I could have just listened to her and trusted her… everything she told us was right… I wasn’t in any damn special circumstances… I should have known that… I mean sure my injuries cause some special circumstances… but not anything else beyond that. I’ve sent her letters to thank her… but who knows if she got them. She changed my life.

And more on with the body…. I want to get back down to 120 or less… I need to do something because I really let myself go in CA… I was so depressed… I just don’t know how I let him control my life for that long…

I’m also working on my knitting more… I got this knitting book called ‘Domiknitrix’ and it basically inspired me to get more serious about it and fix all my errors as they go… I can honestly say that it’s good… my knitting is steadily improving and I am very happy for it…

John (aka “Atli”) and I are still seeing each other… It’s kinda nice being in the same region for the most part now… because it takes less planning to get together… he’s still quiet as hell but I guess he will always be that way… There is just something about him and the way he is that makes certain seemingly small moments monumental… a long phone call while I was browsing in a craft store… resting his head on my shoulder for just a moment, when he has a toothy smile (not often enough) just sitting quietly together… not saying anything… and Swedish pancakes… always! lol

Life isn’t so bad… but I did see some interesting stuff on the freeway today… Boulders that had fallen onto the road that were bigger than I am tall… it was crazy… they just flattened the guard rail… I have never seen anything like it… and to see from where they fell so high up… I mean wow… Nature is one mighty force… and the flooding in Arlington is all the way to I-5… I’ve only seen it on TV and stuff… seeing it in real life less then 10 feet away and rising up and coming after you in something else….kinda scary…. I can say I have new respect for floods… they are something that scares me.