Monthly Archives: July 2008

okay another update….


Still busy busy…. lots of problems but I think most of them are stemming from Brad’s daughter still being in town… just 17 days to go and I get my privacy back….

Nothing is sacred while she is here… Brad dresses her in my clothes (Except she is fat and consequently my clothes get all busted up from her…) to top that all off I have this silly delusion that the clothes I pick make me look sexy to him… but obviously he does not think that if he is dressing his 9-year-old daughter in them…

The problems between us and with our relationship seem to build and build with more and more resentment adding on to what has developed since I came here… I have learned a new appreciation for the situations I lived in before… for the freedoms I enjoyed for so long…

We keep saying lets go back to church but nothing is done about it… he keeps calling me crazy so much I am beginning to believe him… I am so sick of the politics he preaches… I am so sick of fox news saying it is fair and balanced… I am so sick of the “my way or the highway” attitudes….

I have never been a morning person; and yet he is… so when the alarm goes of at 5:50 to get my lazy ass out of bed he gets pissed that he hits the snooze button… I tell him to move the damn clock to my side of the bed and he just brushes that off and says no; you just have to get up on the first alarm or sleep in a separate room… Mind you our whole apartment is just one room so I don’t know what he is thinking.

Saturday we were on our way to his sister’s wedding… I spent the whole morning getting his daughter ready while he watched TV… then he was mad because we were running behind… we started having a major fight in the car because I am not changing enough for him and not sacrificing enough for him… then when I say that I have been trying to get him to sit down and talk for 3 weeks (Like I have been) he gets even more pissed that I try to move the conversation on to what I think our real problems are… He dumps me in the car on the way to a WEDDING and then gets pissed because I start crying… Is this guy completely ignorantly of how many changes and sacrifices I have made for him??? I am a social creature who is away from my family and every friend I have ever known… and yet I am not changing enough…

I am like a prisoner in my own life… Little princess Allie seems to control it all… While she is here I don’t exist…. Nothing of mine is private or sacred… she does whatever she wants, I have to watch her on my time off.. I am lucky if I get 2 hours to myself a week! I can’t take this stress. it really is driving me crazy — she knows she holds all of the power and abuses that same power against me… She makes me the bad guy for not feeding her junk food whenever she wants it… I am a bad guy because I do not want to swim after working 8 hours.. I am the bad guy because I insist she clean up her messes around our extremely small apartment…

She just sent me an e-mail bitching that I need to go pick her up….

“where R U? i want 2 leave NOW!!!! It’s so boring here and i want 2 go! “

no please, not thank you, just demands… this is how she always is with me… and she jumps around and makes annoying sounds for hours on end specifically just to piss me off… to make me the villain… she is a sly one and I am sick of it… I am not her little servant and I swear to god if brad doesn’t say something to her tonight I will… After all I am already the bad guy… why not be the villain she make me portray???