Farewell My mentor, My friend…

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I am sick from losing him.. forever grateful that I came up to send him on his way… Forever grateful I did get the opportunity to get to know him as well as I did… but we were far from done… we’d barely just begun… I still have a number of tasks he has given me…. one of them was to make my green belt… I was supposed to do that while I was stationed off somewhere or something… and then he wanted me to sit vigil the night he officially presented it to me…. People say this ‘junior apprentice’ crap around me… but all he ever said to me about my ‘title’ was that i was another of his apprentices… he taught me a lot about fealty and has been the only man I have sworn any to… he made a point of assuring that I understood what i was taking on by becoming his apprentice and it became a very personal endeavor… As i was going into the military he made me a sword (although I doubt I will get it now… he probably never finished) it was to be his one gift to me…. everything else I would work on personally… Everyone always said he was mad mad mad crazy mad… but even through the ADD he had a method to his madness… before I left for boot Misch made me promise that I will seek guidance of the masters along my way… and he’d still help from afar and whenever I visited home… his being in the military before helped him to understand my upcoming circumstance. He was my greatest gift… and I now sit here rather in-consolable…

My question is — what is an apprentice/squire/protege supposed to do when they lose their master/knight/pelican? I am quite lost right now… should I still make my green belt as originally planned? shall I place the placards on it as originally planned? I vowed to Mischka while he lay on his deathbed that I will complete all the tasks he gave me… but is there something about how I should deal with the belt thing in that it was never presented (mainly because it was never made)?

Should I be worried about societal appropriateness now? it’s never worried me much before… I do not see myself to stop mourning anytime soon…. completing those tasks given will definitely be a part of the process…

I am so sick….

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