It isn’t all that bad…

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You know sometimes I can complain a lot… After moving up here away from everything familiar I didn’t really expect my life to change so much….yet it really has… and sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice. I get asked that a lot you know… I get funny looks and I’ve even turned away some friends from the past… actually I’ve turned away almost all of them…

but then I remember a little bit of why I left — I couldn’t escape my past down there… I couldn’t get away from any of it… people I’ve never even met whispering and pointing because of how my dad went out… constantly living with old high school grudges pointing and laughing with me… past relationships almost laughing in my face… and yet I walked away from it all…

I’ve practically no social life now… Noah practically is my life… and sometimes I resent him for it… but I have no right to… He works so hard for me trying to do his best at everything… and although he works too much he still somes home to me… every night… I love that. Knowing that he loves me is the best feeling in the world… and I know that I am lucky.

The hard part is just dealing with how to start over… It’s actually pretty hard to do when you know you walked away from most of your youth… Here I am an adult starting over… there I’m still just that stupid kid…

Eventually things will work out here. I just need to learn patience and enjoy my beloveds company. He’s so good to me.

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