The Da Vinci Code

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So after three days of solid reading in every moment of my spare time I have finally read The Da Vinci Code. Ever since the book was originally released in 2003 I have had an interest in reading it due to a very dear and close friend raving about it wildly excited… She talked about secret messages being hidden in Da Vinci’s paintings, murder mystery suspense… Sounded cool enough… but then she also mentioned something else…. She said the story was surrounded around Christianity and the holy grail… now my eagerness waned into a ‘I’ll wait until you finish it and then I’ll borrow your copy…’ sort of mood… I still halfway wanted to read it… but at the same time I did not care for all the Christian bullshit that I was desperately trying to escape…

At that time in my life (I had barely moved out on my own at the time…) Everyone had been surrounding me with all of the God bless you for enduring something so hard… and all that bull crap after dad died… They all thought I was some die-hard dedicated christian because I would never feign such a thing… At the time it was all I could do… if I so much as alluded to having ‘lost faith’ they would promptly get on my case and not relent until it was restored… Since middle-school my only support groups being a majority of Christians demanded of me one thing… never stated out loud but painfully clear – I was to follow Christianity blindly to achieve happiness… I was to witness such a faith outwardly to achieve this said joy they all seemingly had… and so I did. I followed blindly….

Occasionally I would feel that I had a spiritual moment but looking back It really was hardly that I think… I had these moments in terror as I was going through the night sweats of withdrawals as I quit drugs freshman year… when I felt faint only now I realize these are symptoms of another condition that I care not to discuss…

My only true joys were my guitar (On which I only know how to play Christian songs as any other songs tended to get me into disapproval) My family prone to drama as always created its own soap operas that I tried to stay away in the shadows… lurking in these shadows I also because starved for the simple affection that I believe a family should afford its counterparts in order to be a healthy environment…. but then again who said that I grew up in a healthy environment…

Nonetheless.. My ‘faith’ that I put every ounce of my existence into desperately searching for this joy that so many others besides me experienced – the elation that their faith – Christianity – gave them was something I tried to convince myself was attainable… and yet the same things always ran though my head…

How can anyone believe in this ‘myth of a merciful god; of a heaven and hell?’ – a simple line from a popular song by one of my favorite bands – When I spoke the line people instantly labeled it as the devil’s work… but as they did that I thought ‘Devil? How can people believe in something so silly… the devil is a scapegoat….’ and so on I began questioning… When I read the bible I could only see it as a historical record that constantly contradicted itself… every time I went to look up something in order to try to find guidance I found that it just contradicted itself more….

Over time saying I was Christian was all I had left… it was simply a meaningless label… something I had thrust upon me that would keep my world from crashing down on me…

Then the world crashed anyways… Everything in my life turned upside down and backwards… and it kept doing so more and more… and the more I tried to live the lie the harder it got… But there was no one to talk to… no one uninvolved that wouldn’t stab my back once they heard it… Hell I half believed it myself… I identified myself as a christian… although I didn’t know it yet… I really had no reason to be…

After a particularly hard breakup (one that even still hurts me thinking of it) among other difficult things in my life… I found myself somehow magically in contact with an old friend who had helped me out right around the time of my dad’s suicide… We talked for many an hour about all sorts of things… Just having someone uninvolved with the rest of my life to talk to was great… it was an escape. He also liked to challenge me… he would ask me the questions that I knew I wasn’t asking myself…. he challenged me most often about my beliefs He – being an atheist – saw the lie in my eyes although I did not know it yet myself… He asked all the right questions that really had me sit back and take an introspective approach to who I was and what I believed… and over a few months it worked… I was able to finally admit to myself that I am no christian and also could identify many an other thing about myself that I never knew… it was like finally admitting to myself that I am not a christian and then it was like a floodgate opened and my self – identity emerged… and with it I could finally begin to love myself… It’s still a battle I fight yes, but it is much easier for me when I am not lying to myself…

This time of self revealing was when she told me about the book… due to it’s seemingly overly christian undertone I found that I kept putting it off.. that and I didn’t want to pay the exorbitant prices that they had been charging up to now… and so 3 days ago I finally bought the book on sale for under $5. While the money could be better spent saved up for my new tent, I bought it anyways… some fiction was just what I needed and by George I was right. For the past 3 days I haven’t been able to put it down! an amazing book with many plot twists and surprises… all while very believable… many educational and artistic references actually check up to what is written… It was amazing..

Most of the book centered around a race to find the holy grail…which unlike popular belief was not a cup, but supposedly Mary Magdalene herself alongside much documentation stating that she was Jesus’ wife and that she was pregnant at the time of the crucifixion… later giving birth to Jesus’ own baby… This theory being a popular and logical one has been around long before this piece of fiction was ever conceived… and I believe that many people have come to the conclusion themselves…

I remember going to Sunday school one day around Easter and having the teacher tell us the story about Mary washing Jesus’ feet… a few weeks later still hearing references to Mary – on Easter this time – I asked if they had gotten married… My Sunday school teacher scoffed at me and told me saying that was a sin and that Jesus would never marry a whore… I asked what a whore was (While knowing full well what it was after watching “Pretty Woman” and putting 2 and 2 together) I thought it very logical that Jesus would marry Mary… after all it seemed that in all of the bible stories most of the men enjoyed many a marriage and I couldn’t understand why Jesus… one of the specialist guys in the bible couldn’t do that himself…

Needless to say My Sunday school teacher didn’t like how I questioned things… I just hadn’t thought of this memory for sometime.. until today… The book reminded me and It wouldn’t escape – perhaps that my openness as a child to alternative realities to all of the stories that they told us… perhaps that while I was impressionable I was also smarter to a natural truth? Who knows… either way I found it funny then how blindly people followed their faith… not being open to new perceptions…

The book suggests much more but I don’t want to waste the rad for anyone who hasn’t read so much themselves… but either way it’s a good one… perhaps I am not the only one in thinking it is a viable concept I would not be surprised to hear about on the front page some day…

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About KD Williams

Kára Agnarsdóttir (aka Kirstina D. Williams) hails from Seattle, WA. She is very passionate about a number of topics including archaeology, costuming, spinning, nålbinding, knitting, crochet, travel, history, and photography. She has been a member of the Glamfolk since 2002 and is currently in school working towards bachelor's degrees in both Scandinavian Studies and Anthropology.

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